Our Story

I know that there have been a lot of silent questions or concerns with the route my life has taken in the last 6 months. I've never publically addressed it or even talked about it before, so this is a little different for me. I feel like I just need to add some closure to people's wonderings and assumptions, and put it in writing for myself. So... here it is.

This is our story. Well, my side of it anyway.

Picture a warm summer night in Rexburg, Idaho. The door was open, letting the light breeze air out the small house my roommates and I shared. Three of us had just gotten back from the gym. Our other roommate had a date set up with a friend and two guys from Pocatello that neither of them had met before.

Now, picture me with no make-up on. Sweaty. Hair in a slicked back bun. This is how I met my husband. And yes, he was my roommate’s date.

I remember seeing him for the first time and thinking, “Dang it, Stephanie.” I hadn’t even said one word to him and I was drawn to him. He was just cool. He laughed at my stupid jokes. He watched goat videos on YouTube with me while the girls finished getting ready. Life was good.

Oh yeah, except that he was there for my roommate, who was also one of my best friends. Except that I looked like I hadn’t showered in days and there was no way he would even want to come near me ever again. And except that I had a mission call on the way, and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

Kyle and I talked off and on after that. Mostly about really random things, or how things were going with my roommate. I always got really excited though when his name would come up on my phone. He became one of my best friends even though the conversations never lasted very long. Which was fine – I had other things to focus on.

On May 18^th I received my mission call to the Oklahoma Oklahoma City Mission and was to report four months later in September. The Spirit filled the room as I read my inspired letter from the Prophet of the Lord. I could not have been more excited to serve, and I knew that was the next step I was supposed to take in my life. I was surrounded by my best friends and family that had continually supported me throughout my entire life to help me get to that point. I had relatives and friends skyping in on multiple computers and phones to share the experience with me. One connection in particular was to my house in Idaho. By chance, Kyle was there to see my roommate. He got to share in that special experience with me.

On May 19^th a record-breaking tornado destroyed the entire area my mission covered. Not even 24 hours after I had opened my call, I received a Divine confirmation that this was where I was meant to serve and help the people whose lives had just been devastated by such a natural disaster. For weeks both my mother back in Arizona and I were constantly watching news reports and counting as the death toll grew. My mom shared in that experience with me more than anyone else. I hurt, she hurt. I would be serving my mission not only for myself, but for her too.

I matured more in the month after receiving my mission call than I have in my entire life. I gained a real testimony of my own of every principle in the gospel and lived each of them like I never have before. I dedicated myself to my church calling in the Relief Society presidency, to school, and grew in my relationships with my friends and family that I never thought was possible. I knew I was preparing for something great; I just had a different idea of what it was at the time.

Kyle and I had hardly talked since I received my mission call. I had almost forgotten about the little crush I had earlier in the summer, until he texted me in early July. Butterflies. Again.

We talked like normal because, after all, our friendship hadn’t left. We joked around like usual, he asked about my mission call, and then asked something that was completely unexpected. “What would you do if the man of your dreams walked into your life even though you have your mission call?”

“Lots and lots of praying,” I replied. And it was true. The next few months I did the most praying I’ve probably ever done before.

From then on we talked from 6 in the morning when we got up until we could hardly keep our eyes open in the early hours of the morning. Within the first two days, we had talked about everything there is to talk about with someone you’re just starting to really know, but we couldn’t stop just talking. The question “How are you?” would turn into a lengthy 4 hour conversation. Imagine what the conversations about life experiences turned into. We connected on a level different than anything I’ve ever experienced

We fell in love on our first date, and we knew we were supposed to spend forever together after that day. Everything was perfect until we had to discuss the unavoidable obstacle that was in our way. Not really an obstacle, we just had to figure out why we felt something so strongly together right then and why I had felt something different about the next step I was to take in my life just a couple months prior. I only had a couple more weeks left in Idaho, and only a couple weeks left to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. Or at least have an idea of which direction I was going to go before I left him. These were the hardest two weeks of my life.

I let very few people in during that time, and only a handful knew of the decision I was struggling to make. That alone, mixed with finals and a house full of hormonal girls was hell. And then it was all for nothing. The night before I left to go home, the last time I was to see Kyle for potentially forever, it was done.

“I don’t see the point. It’s not going to work out. The distance and your mission; it won’t work.”

Done.

In fact, the last entry in my journal was from that night. A dramatic, tear-stained entry about how my decision had been made. I was going on a mission.

There’s a reason that was my last entry. I was about to start my story.

The next morning we both woke up to the reality that we could never be without each other. He was the first to admit this, and after only spending one night “without him”, I knew what the right thing for me was. It was him.

As I came home to Arizona, I faced constant questioning, and unimaginable amounts of frustration, anger, and judgments from many people. I was a hypocrite. A mission never meant anything to me anyway. I had done something wrong to not be worthy to serve a mission.  I was simply giving up the best experience of my life.  He’ll wait for me.

I heard it all. And the funny thing is, none of that was true.

I was not a hypocrite. I had truly had all of those feelings and confirmations regarding my mission, and I truly had such a desire to serve. I still do, and I still love my mission the same way I did when I opened my call. I was more than worthy to serve a mission because I had prepared for months and months to enter the temple. That was priority over anything else to me. A mission would have been a wonderful experience at that point in my life, but there is nothing sweeter than being sealed to your eternal companion. I gave up on one amazing experience for another, more incredible one.

And my favorite. “He’ll wait for you.” That was a valid argument I heard from many people that I talked to. And it’s very possible. He might have waited for me, he might not have. But as I thought and prayed and struggled, I found that there was no “right” or “wrong” answer. It was all about timing. My Bishop gave me this advice:

“What do you want? If you want to marry him and you know that it’s right, then do it now. God’s just given you a fork in the road with a great life in either direction. It’s up to you which one you take.”

I knew I was going to marry him. I knew I wanted to marry him. And over time, I knew that we needed to be together right then. At this point I had just decided that people were going to criticize and judge me no matter which decision I made. It was time to just do me.

With all of that being said, however, during this time I also received much encouragement and love, especially from my mom who had been so desirous and supportive of me to serve a mission. And I found comfort in the fact that my best friend was right by my side through it all. At the end of the day, no matter how hard it was or if I felt like just giving up, all that mattered was me and him. I grew during this time similar to the way I did after receiving my mission call. Because I found such comfort in him when I couldn’t in anything else, I knew that he would be there for me for the rest of our lives. When one of us loses a job and finances get hard, or we lose a child, or when my kidney fails, or when the whole world just seems to come crashing down on us, I knew he’d be there. That was just one of the millions of confirmations that he was the one.

So, on September 19^th, the day after I was supposed to report on my mission, Kyle proposed to me. I said yes, and a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. This was it. This was my decision, and it couldn’t have been more right for me.

Then on December 7^th, we began our lives together.

It’s crazy to look back on everything that has happened in the last 6 months. How quickly my life changed direction and how pivotal of a decision I actually made. Sometimes I don’t even believe it myself. Sometimes it seems so surreal that I’m married and that I’m even old enough to be married. That I’m living in a place I could never see myself living before. That I’ve left my family and friends back home for this man that I’ve known for such a short amount of time. But this man is more than I could have ever imagined. More patient, more kind, more gentle, more fun, more perfect than I’d ever thought I had the chance at spending forever with. I’m thankful every day to be his wife, and I’m thankful every day for the journey we took to get here.

This is our story.